Comments on: Am I a bad person? http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/ Fri, 18 May 2012 08:07:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: gendergeek.org » The Eighth Carnival of Feminists http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/comment-page-1/#comment-386 gendergeek.org » The Eighth Carnival of Feminists Thu, 23 Feb 2006 23:46:09 +0000 http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/#comment-386 [...] ure. Still on a ‘beauty myth’ tip, Candace of Muse and Fury fame wants to know if she’s a bad person for dissapproving of her colleague’s, admittedly [...] [...] ure. Still on a ‘beauty myth’ tip, Candace of Muse and Fury fame wants to know if she’s a bad person for dissapproving of her colleague’s, admittedly [...]

]]> By: Tara http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/comment-page-1/#comment-344 Tara Thu, 09 Feb 2006 01:30:33 +0000 http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/#comment-344 If she saw it as an inteview setting then I guess she amptly demonstrated that she lacks skills at assessing situations, showing foresight, and implementing appropriate strategies... On the other hand, in our f*ed up culture there's no way of being sure that competence in a female, as opposed to compliance, would be rewarded :( If she saw it as an inteview setting then I guess she amptly demonstrated that she lacks skills at assessing situations, showing foresight, and implementing appropriate strategies…

On the other hand, in our f*ed up culture there’s no way of being sure that competence in a female, as opposed to compliance, would be rewarded :(

]]> By: Sour Duck http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/comment-page-1/#comment-342 Sour Duck Wed, 08 Feb 2006 14:15:36 +0000 http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/#comment-342 Surprised there aren't more comments attached to this one. I thought this was quite a good post in that it takes theory - the theory of feminism - and clashes it with a personal experience. From a theorhetical standpoint, I would not help the woman. But in "real life", if she needed extra support (other than what the man was giving her), I *would* assist her. (I think!) Ugh! Not very good at commenting tonight, apologies. What I would do in that situation is beside the point.* What I really mean is: the reason I found your post so interesting is because I've come across similar scenarios in my own life, where my own values clash with a situation. I almost *always* cave in to convention. And being "nice". I assume other women have found themselves between a rock and a hard place, too, due to convention clashing with feminism. What to do, what to do... But to answer your point: no, you're not a bad person for not assisting your colleage - she had one person assisting her, and it wasn't a life-or-death situation, merely an inconvenience, so it's a safe assumption you aren't a bad person. BTW, glad to see this included in the Carnival of Feminists (8). (Guess who nom'd you. :))) (P.S. - is there any way you can rejig your comment facility so there is a preview option? I re-edit my comments alot, usually...) * And besides, how can I really know, sitting comfortably at my pc? It's a guess at best. BTW, Leaf: <i>"In the end you punished yourself, by extending a 5 min walk into half an hour. If you had helped her it would likely have been somewhat faster."</i> What about the punishment M&F would've felt afterwards by betraying her feminist beliefs? Doesn't this count? Surprised there aren’t more comments attached to this one. I thought this was quite a good post in that it takes theory - the theory of feminism - and clashes it with a personal experience.

From a theorhetical standpoint, I would not help the woman. But in “real life”, if she needed extra support (other than what the man was giving her), I *would* assist her. (I think!)

Ugh! Not very good at commenting tonight, apologies. What I would do in that situation is beside the point.* What I really mean is: the reason I found your post so interesting is because I’ve come across similar scenarios in my own life, where my own values clash with a situation. I almost *always* cave in to convention. And being “nice”. I assume other women have found themselves between a rock and a hard place, too, due to convention clashing with feminism.

What to do, what to do…

But to answer your point: no, you’re not a bad person for not assisting your colleage - she had one person assisting her, and it wasn’t a life-or-death situation, merely an inconvenience, so it’s a safe assumption you aren’t a bad person.

BTW, glad to see this included in the Carnival of Feminists (8). (Guess who nom’d you. :)))

(P.S. - is there any way you can rejig your comment facility so there is a preview option? I re-edit my comments alot, usually…)

* And besides, how can I really know, sitting comfortably at my pc? It’s a guess at best.

BTW, Leaf:

“In the end you punished yourself, by extending a 5 min walk into half an hour. If you had helped her it would likely have been somewhat faster.”

What about the punishment M&F would’ve felt afterwards by betraying her feminist beliefs? Doesn’t this count?

]]> By: Administrator http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/comment-page-1/#comment-323 Administrator Mon, 30 Jan 2006 13:31:16 +0000 http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/#comment-323 I sure hope that next time she will make a differnt choice. She's got the combination now of experience and pain, complaining when we got back to the hotel about how her feet were killing her (having had these on for 14 hours). I wouldn't say I'd punished myself - Ottawa is a beautiful city and I've got great blog fodder now. It's not the time that I begrudge, it's her self-inflicted dependence. I sure hope that next time she will make a differnt choice. She’s got the combination now of experience and pain, complaining when we got back to the hotel about how her feet were killing her (having had these on for 14 hours).

I wouldn’t say I’d punished myself - Ottawa is a beautiful city and I’ve got great blog fodder now. It’s not the time that I begrudge, it’s her self-inflicted dependence.

]]> By: leaf http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/comment-page-1/#comment-318 leaf Mon, 30 Jan 2006 03:57:36 +0000 http://www.femilicious.com/blog/2006/01/26/am-i-a-bad-person/#comment-318 I think you are being a little too harsh. Making appropriate footwear choices is something people learn from experience (&pain). And there are some that will always choose style over comfort. In the end you punished yourself, by extending a 5 min walk into half an hour. If you had helped her it would likely have been somewhat faster. Like it or not, appearance matters - perhaps she was choosing to see it more as a job interview setting? and her choice reflected that (or maybe I'm giving her too much credit.) for what it's worth. A. I think you are being a little too harsh.

Making appropriate footwear choices is something people learn from experience (&pain). And there are some that will always choose style over comfort.

In the end you punished yourself, by extending a 5 min walk into half an hour. If you had helped her it would likely have been somewhat faster.

Like it or not, appearance matters - perhaps she was choosing to see it more as a job interview setting? and her choice reflected that (or maybe I’m giving her too much credit.)

for what it’s worth. A.

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