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Last week I withdrew my daughter from enriched drama class in the city’s art school.

I have tried to contact the school board. My calls to one superintendent have not yet been returned. My calls to the other are being intercepted and forwarded to the first by the switchboard. sigh My email to the trustee has not yet been answered.

The principal insists nothing inappropriate took place.

Every person I talk to — inside the education and acting faculties at the university, in my own department, every parent, every single person that hears what happened is horrified.

What’s it going to take before someone intervenes in the classroom? I’m doing everything I can think of. Please, if you have another idea, please let me know.

If you missed the story you can read about it here: Kissing in the High School Classroom and here: Update on Grade 9 Kissing Class

Earlier today I wrote about my daughter’s grade nine intro drama class. I spoke to the principal again this afternoon after she’d had time to talk to the teacher.
According to her, open mouth stage kissing is part of the curriculum. It’s a stage technique. Like for in plays.

She didn’t understand me when I said that I felt it was unnecessarily hypersexualizing the 13 and 14 year old students in the class.

She assured me that nothing inappropriate was going on. Her context according to the teacher: some of the kids created a scene with kissing so he stopped them to show them how to do it right. Not how my daughter describes the class but this is the official story now. The end. She said I was frustrating her.

About the miniskirts and heels: he insists he would never tell students to wear miniskirts because they restrict movement too much. High heels though: absolutely essential attire for auditions. It’s an expected part of the business for women. Which prompts me to ask two questions (for another time): aren’t high heels just as restricting as miniskirts? How is it that one is acceptable and one is not? and secondly: what else do the girls need to know is just part of the business? Needless to say I didn’t pursue these thoughts with the principal since the teacher denies he ever instructed the girls in what to wear. Strange then that 2/3 of the twenty-some girls in the class followed his instructions and were miffed when he said he meant them to dress this way for after school, not class. Huh? I’m more confused than the kids.

So the principal insisted that the technique (stage kissing) isn’t about sexuality it’s about technique. Which is why I said again that there isn’t any reason then for the kisses not to be girl-girl and boy-boy as well as girl-boy. If it’s not about sexuality then it’s no big deal right? Which suggests that it is about sexuality.

She also insisted that there was no relevance between my concerns about teens’ developing identities and what happens in the classroom. That the things I was saying sounded like the title of a master’s dissertation. (cool!) It makes me sad that the principal doesn’t see the connection between what happens in the classroom as part of the larger context of what it means to be a young person in high school, in Windsor, Ontario, Canada in 2008. It’s all related. You cannot isolate one heteronormative hypersexual experience and say it’s not part of a larger pattern in society. It makes me want to sign the world up for women’s studies.

More from the principal: the teacher’s judgment shouldn’t be questioned. He is the authority in the classroom. I couldn’t believe I was hearing it — I don’t know anyone whose work is immune to scrutiny. What happened to education being a process? She was aghast that I plan to ask other drama teachers how they would have handled the situation.

I’m glad at least that taking this class has chilled any desire in my daughter to ever take another drama class. I’ve also let her know that she can drop this course without any academic penalty. And I sure am glad knowing she’s learning lots of useful things. Like the difference between making out and stage kissing is for stage kissing you keep your tongue in your own mouth. What did your kid learn at school today?

I am so glad my daughter talks to me.

Update on Grade 9 Kissing Class is here.

I was trying not to be the troublesome parent always calling the school. I gave it up today.

There’s something odd about my daughter’s drama class.

Among other things, two weeks ago the teacher told all the girls to come to class the next day wearing high heels and miniskirts.

Yesterday they learned open mouth kissing.

Am I overreacting to think this is inappropriate in an intro acting class of 13 and 14 year olds? Aren’t there plenty of things to work on or is kissing the most important part of being an actor?

Their grades are based on their participation and enthusiasm — what happens if you don’t want to dress up for your teacher or open mouth kiss?

If it’s truly only a stage technique - like the principal tried to assure me - then there should be equal numbers of girl-boy kisses, girl-girl kisses, and boy-boy kisses in the classroom. I see plenty of each when I go to theatre. Not the case in my daughter’s class: only boy-girl there.

This is high school, not university. This is grade nine. These kids are in the thick of puberty, emerging sexual identities - do you really want to be kissing in front of a group of your peers?

Yes, sometimes actors kiss on stage. But when you audition and accept a role you know what the part requires. You accept the part based on that knowledge. and you aren’t graded on it.

Catholic? Have a daughter? Your church would rather see her dead than raped, like Maria Goretti, sainted in 1950 in celebration of her 1902 murder by her would-be rapist. Virginity - even when you’re about to be raped - is more important than life. Got it? The murderer on the other hand lived a long life and according to Wikipedia, died peacefully in 1970. Too bad for Maria.

Great post from Natalia Antonova and the related post from Feministe.

I’ve been playing with calendars on my fresh install of SuSE Linux - experimenting with customizing Lightning for Mozilla Thunderbird and trying out kOrganizer. I’ve got all of my calendars (kids here, kids at their dads, Rob’s kid, campus activities, due dates, birthdays, etc) on the home network so that I can see my events no matter which computer I’m on. Rob’s got the same thing going and we (theoretically) can try and keep track of what each of us is doing.

The only calendar I hadn’t set up yet was for my menstrual cycle — currently the data for the past year is sitting in a MozBackup file on a flash drive that I’ve misplaced. I’ve got the last two months sitting on a gmail calendar so by grabbing that and setting a customized 28-day repeat cycle I can predict approximately when I’m likely to be crampy, miserable and/or cysty for the distant future (until of course perimenopause decides to visit).

This is why it’s better to put the calendars on the network instead of saving only a local copy — I never want to go through setting this up again.

The first thing I checked was how things line up with my family week-long summer vacation to the beach. Go figure, my period is due the first day of vacation. How’s that for timing? No guarantees since it’s still a few months away, but since I’ve been pretty clockwork at 28 days for the last 2 or so years there’s a pretty good chance I’ll continue to be regular. I’m happy with my Diva cup so it’s not the need to pack supplies that annoys me, it’s the thought of packing, driving, and being on holiday — and needing copious amounts of pain medication.

That said, I think this is a great application of organizer-calendars. It definitely beats counting out 28 days over and over again. I wonder if the Mozilla Foundation would like an add-on? What would it need to include?

flickr photo by CaseyLessard

Last night I attended a talk held at the University of Windsor given by Dr. Shahnaz Khan. The topic of the presentation was entitled: Veil Talk: Examining the Many Facets. Dr. Khan is the author of Aversion and Desire; Negotiating Muslim Female Identity in the Diaspora and a professor in Global Studies and Women’s Studies at Wilfred Laurier University in Waterloo, Ontario.

As she was discussing how the veil takes many forms and waiting for some technology to catch up with the presentation she took questions from the audience. A man criticized her for confusing all these Westerners. He said that what she was showing the group were not in fact veils, that there was a difference between veils and head coverings. He told her that He Would Now Teach Her That Difference.

It was an unbelievably arrogant and dismissive comment. Dr. Kahn is an expert in her field. She has written and lectured on this topic for many years. She had just finished describing and showing pictures of some of the many ways women veil and explaining that where a woman lives has much to do with the form the veil takes and that there are many reasons why a woman veils. She showed pictures of hijab, niqab, burka, obaya and chador and as all are used to cover a woman’s body they come under the category of veiling. She discussed the relationship between veiling and class — in the past, veiling beyond a head covering for protection from the sun — worn by both men and women — was practiced by upper class women. Those involved in physical labour were unable to work effectively with their movement restricted. We were much too polite to him. Instead of telling him where to go we rolled our eyes at each other, grimaced, and groaned. The idea of waiting for one person to finish talking before speaking should have been replaced with heckles and boos.

A few minutes later another man criticized her for not taking the talk to a different level — that we need to go beyond the talk she gave. Her response was that his idea is a different talk than the one she gave — an idea for another day. Judging by the number of people in the room who turned up for her presentation I’d say there was an interest in the talk that was presented. Not to say there isn’t more to say — but we have to start somewhere.

The first man tried taking the floor a second time at the end of the presentation but the moderator cut him short with her closing remarks — several times. This man did not want to stop — he was determined to re-educate the group. Dr. Kahn handled it all beautifully. It looked as though she’d dealt with this before.

Some of us were saying that it was really wonderful that these men turned up to tell us how to talk about women’s bodies. Because, you know, how could women do that on their own?

flickr photo by aymanshamma

I’ve known for years (almost 14 — the age of my oldest child) that breastmilk is the absolute best thing in the world. Now there’s one more reason why it’s awesome:

Breastmilk contains stem cells. Seriously. Check out that article.

flickr photo by Hoover Family Photos

Please cast your vote to support the nomination of Henry Morgentaler for the Order of Canada.

Henry Morgentaler is a Holocaust survivor.* He survived Auschwitz, and after the war he accepted a United Nations scholarship that was being offered to Jewish survivors. With this, he went to medical school in Germany. He came to Canada and set up as a general practitioner in Montreal. In 1967 he told the Government of Canada that he believed that any pregnant woman should have the right to a safe abortion.

He was first arrested in 1970 for performing illegal abortions and the process of arrest - appeal - acquittal continued until 1983. Finally, in 1988 the Canadian Supreme Court declared the law he was convicted under to be unconstitutional in the case of Morgentaler et al. v. Her Majesty The Queen 1988 (1 S.C.R. 30). This ruling essentially ended all statutory restrictions on abortion in Canada. In 1993, he challenged provincial abortion regulations and won again before the Supreme Court.

image by tattingstar2

Morgentaler received an honorary Doctor of Laws from the University of Western Ontario and the 2005 Couchiching Award for Public Policy Leadership for his efforts on behalf of women’s rights and reproductive health issues.

In 2008, in conjunction with the 20th anniversary of this legal decision, a campaign has been launched by a group of pro-choice activists to nominate Henry Morgentaler for the Order of Canada.

Morgentaler has been nominated twice already, and passed over both times. He has recently suffered a stroke and his health is failing. The Order of Canada cannot be awarded posthumously.

The Globe & Mail is conducting a poll on the question of whether Morgentaler should receive this award. So far, the ‘no’ side has received overwhelming support. (SC: 86% no at 2:30 pm)

Please cast your vote.

Anti-choice activists tried to stop the University of Western Ontario from conferring the honorary doctorate but were unsuccessful. Here’s hoping that this anniversary of Canadian women’s right to choose can be celebrated with recognition of the doctor who advocated for us.

*biographical data from Wikipedia

Here it is, almost the end of January and I’m still calendar-less. Every year there’s a special place on my office wall for Sue Richard’s Breast of Canada Calendar. I have most of them still, starting with the premier edition from 2001. This year, Sue’s taking some time off for medical reasons and while she’s trying to get better my wall sits bare.

Out of desperation I bought a cheesy retro-style calendar at the grocery store last week on 75% clearance…but it stinks. The space for writing on it is Huge but I’m not in need of a datebook (I do all that on the computer). I want beautiful Art, pictures of Women, support to a good cause!

Please Sue, get well and make me a 2009 calendar. pretty please?

In the meantime, are there any calendars out there that are in need of a good home? I’d appreciate any links you might care to leave in the comments. Thank you. :)

I’m a day late. In my case, it’s only that I’m a day late in joining the chorus of others Blogging for Choice but for a lot of women the words “I’m late” start a spiral of emotions and life altering decision-making.

At the Art Gallery of Windsor, there’ll be a film screening tomorrow night, January 24, 2008 @ 7pm of a film that shows what happens where there is no choice for women.

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days
Winner of the 2007 Cannes Film Festival Palme d’Or Award
Romania 2007
Director: Cristian Mungiu;
113 minutes
Rating: PG
Principal Cast: Anamaria Marinca, Vlad Ivanov, Laura Vasiliu, Alexandru Potocean

The film 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days is the powerful story of a young woman who gets and illegal abortion in small-town Romania during the dying days of Communist rule.

When Gabita decides to terminate her pregnancy – a crime in Romania from 1966 until 1989 – her fiercely loyal university dorm-mate and best friend, Otilia (Anamaria Marinca), accompanies her to a hotel room to be “helped” by Mr. Bebe (Vlad Ivanov), the only black-market practitioner they can afford. When the foul Bebe requests something far more precious than money for his services, the girls descend into a harrowing journey of the soul that is nothing short of shattering.

Taking place over a single Saturday in 1987, the film holds an enormous emotional gravitas.It evolves into a profound exploration not only of sorority in harsh times but of choices and responsibility when options are few.

The Art Gallery of Windsor is in downtown Windsor, Ontario.
401 Riverside Drive West Phone 519-977-0013
Tickets: $10 per person (includes Gallery admission)
Advance tickets available in the AGW’s Gift Shop, 519-977-1400