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Tired and old

I’m so tired. Again. I’ve spent the past 12 hours marking papers online. I’m sure my eyes are going to bug out if I sit here any longer. 28 done, 110 to go. At this rate I’ll be done sometime Thursday.

I’m too tired to play WoW, too tired to clean or do dishes. Too tired to drive, too tired to crawl to my bed – or even the couch. I don’t know how I’ll get the papers done, not to mention my Monday and Tuesday jobs and class. I’m back to being crippled by the unknown.

I looked in the mirror today and considered growing out the fringe that masquerades as my bangs. I noticed my forehead – the one that lives buried beneath said fringe. The worry lines that my ballet teacher always had to tell me to relax have gotten much deeper since I last looked at them. Guess I’ll be keeping the bangs.

I need that crystal ball, the one that tells me which of the many things I’m trying to do is actually worth it, the one that tells me that somehow I get it all done, that it all pays off and that someday I’ll get to take a break. Could someone send one by please?

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